Monday, April 2, 2012

The End My Friend

Can't write any more 'Storues From The Wall', so here's this short little thing.



Well, this is the end. I have taught you everything and you even know a little pre-rising lore.You know all there is to surviving in this new, firghtening world.

But, just remember. Don't lose your humanity. You must always think with compassion when it comes to people. Never kill without reason, we're an endangered species now. Spare some pupplies when you can. but never, and I mean never, show any mercy to a zombie.

You shoot them. You shoot them in the head and you don't give a rats ass that they are now dead.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Stories From the Wall 2

Also, don't move at night if you can help it. You can't see.

Now, another story of a hero, a stupid hero, but a hero nonetheless.

Cletus was never a smart man, he flunked out of high school and had spent the last four years of his life working on a small sheep ranch. He had always been fascinated by zombies and wished that they could be real so he wouldn't be such a loser. When he heard that his dream had finally come true, he told his boss to sit n' spin, grabbed his gun and ran off.

He stole a tractor and had been rolling around his small rural town shooting zombies for a few days, when he saw a young man, no older than he, trapped by a large herd of zombies. Smart he was not, but if there was one thing to be said about Cleetus, is that he was compasionate. He drove his tractor right into that herd, giving the young man the chance to climb uo the front end of the tracotr and on to the roof of the building he had been pinned up against. This, as you might have guessed, was a stupid move. His tracotr being to slow to reverse out of the wall in time, was over run with zombies in a matter of seconds. They devoured that brave idiot before he could even scream.

This is for you Cletus! May you rest in peace!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Stories from the wall

So, now you know how to survive. If somehow you still die, even after all of my teaching, you are obviously retarded. So, I have now decided to begin sharing stories from the wall. The wall is an online posting board where all those who died because of the infection are remembered by posting their name and pictures. But, some will take it a step further and will give a story to go with the picture. This is one of those stories.


John Mahan was a simple man. He had a good job, two young boys and a beautiful wife. But his life was turned upside down by the outbreak. John didn't believe the wild stories from the news, thinking it was just embellishment to up the ratings, but soon, he began to see the truth. People began to die, only to reappear a few days later, shuffling around town. By the time he realized the truth, it was too late.

He arrived home from work one day in a blind panic. He had just witnessed one of his coworkers attack another person, biting and clawing like a wild animal. When he opened his door, he stopped. Nothing in his life could prepare him for what he was about to see, for there is no sight on this planet more horrible. His youngest son, was sitting on the floor, covered in gore. His mother and older brother lay next to him, dead. Bites were taken from their necks, the arms and their legs, they lay motionless in a pool of their own blood. He ran, he ran farther and faster than he had ever run before. It wasn't long before he saw a crowd. A crowd of what we now know to be zombies, surrounding a bus full of young children. They were clawing at the door as the children within desperately tried to hold it closed.

And he did what any man with nothing to lose would do, he ran right into the center of the crowd. He ran through all of the clawing and biting undead until he reached the back hatch of the bus, and quickly pried it open. He slammed the door shut behind him, running to the front of the bus. The driver was nowhere to be seen, so he started the bus, and drove. He could hear the crunching as he drove over the bodies of the undead, and it sickened him, but he drove on, getting them all to safety.

For the sake of these children he did not know, he risked, and effectively, ended his own life. He was infected in his mad dash to the bus, and when the children were safe, he left, never to be seen alive again.



Warms your heart, huh?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Hazardous Waste

This blog will be about special zombies. I'm not talking about Spitters or Boomers, like in Left 4 Dead, I'm talking about zombies that will use deception to get you.

The first is a floater. It's just a bloated zombie, that is floating in the water. They will lie face down, giving the impression they are dead, and then BAM! You just got eated. So stab before you get too close, or shoot if you have lots of ammo.

The next is a runner. They are fresher zombies, and still retain most of their muscle mass, and are able to run, and climb in some cases. Shoot out their legs first, and then dispose of them.

Thats pretty much it, like I said, not gonna talk about video game zombies. Comment if you find others.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

For the Horde!

Today you will learn how to deal with a horde, or large group, of the walking dead. God forbid this ever happens to you but, better safe than sorry.

First, run. Do not, I repeat, do not stop and try to fight. You will die. You need to run to an easily defensible position, high off the ground. The top of a building would be good, but only if they can't follow you. If you have the time, or a grenade, destroy staircases to make it an easily defensible spot.

Next, get yourself a polearm. A long bladed or stabbing weapon, they're easy to make with a stick, some duct tape and a knife or other sharp object. Now start stabbing. Get them in the head, eyes are preferable for they are easier to penetrate. Do this long enough and you should be fine. Now, if there is no way to get the high ground you run, and you never stop running until they lose your trail, it's your only chance.

Monday, February 27, 2012

I'll knock with my boomstick!

Aside from the obvious threat of becoming a happy meal, there are other dangers. The most important one to be prepared for however, is other people. Not everyone has the common sense or decency to be kind and helpful to the remaining humans, there are still some out there that will only seek to further their own goals. We'll call them buttheads.

So these buttheads will do anything to survive, kill zombies, kill you, steal from you or even kill you (Yes I know it's in there twice, I thought it was that dang important). So should you come across these buttheads, treat them as they would you. Blow a hole in their head and take their stuff. Oh, Sand they're pretty easy to spot. Usually have tons of graffiti about how awesome they are all over their base, and a loudspeaker.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Companions of Jjorrvaskr!

But not really. But this article will be about your companions in this new world of yours, such aswho you should choose, why and how many. Now first hings first: do not choose the chick with large mamory glands. Chances are she can't shoot her way out of a wet paper bag.



I had a picture here but I was told to take it down because a fully clothed woman is apparently innapropriate. I am sorry for any offense I caused.


 I'm not syaing leave her behind, but she is definately one to get rid of should the choice come down to her and well, anybody else really. Always pick up the ex-military or law enforcement, unless they are total jerk offs, then just leave them, not worth it trust me.

Your companions must have personalities that mesh with your own to a certain degree. If you hate eachother, chances are one of you will kill the other. Not good. Choose someone easy enough to get along with, and who can actually bring something usefull to the party, like guns or know-how.

Numbers. They matter. Choose only as many as you can support with your current food/water situation, and no more. Don't take in people you can't support, you ever seen a man pushed to the edge of sanity get told 'no' when he asks for his pudding cup? No? Well lets just say avoid that situation if possible.