Also, don't move at night if you can help it. You can't see.
Now, another story of a hero, a stupid hero, but a hero nonetheless.
Cletus was never a smart man, he flunked out of high school and had spent the last four years of his life working on a small sheep ranch. He had always been fascinated by zombies and wished that they could be real so he wouldn't be such a loser. When he heard that his dream had finally come true, he told his boss to sit n' spin, grabbed his gun and ran off.
He stole a tractor and had been rolling around his small rural town shooting zombies for a few days, when he saw a young man, no older than he, trapped by a large herd of zombies. Smart he was not, but if there was one thing to be said about Cleetus, is that he was compasionate. He drove his tractor right into that herd, giving the young man the chance to climb uo the front end of the tracotr and on to the roof of the building he had been pinned up against. This, as you might have guessed, was a stupid move. His tracotr being to slow to reverse out of the wall in time, was over run with zombies in a matter of seconds. They devoured that brave idiot before he could even scream.
This is for you Cletus! May you rest in peace!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Stories from the wall
So, now you know how to survive. If somehow you still die, even after all of my teaching, you are obviously retarded. So, I have now decided to begin sharing stories from the wall. The wall is an online posting board where all those who died because of the infection are remembered by posting their name and pictures. But, some will take it a step further and will give a story to go with the picture. This is one of those stories.
John Mahan was a simple man. He had a good job, two young boys and a beautiful wife. But his life was turned upside down by the outbreak. John didn't believe the wild stories from the news, thinking it was just embellishment to up the ratings, but soon, he began to see the truth. People began to die, only to reappear a few days later, shuffling around town. By the time he realized the truth, it was too late.
He arrived home from work one day in a blind panic. He had just witnessed one of his coworkers attack another person, biting and clawing like a wild animal. When he opened his door, he stopped. Nothing in his life could prepare him for what he was about to see, for there is no sight on this planet more horrible. His youngest son, was sitting on the floor, covered in gore. His mother and older brother lay next to him, dead. Bites were taken from their necks, the arms and their legs, they lay motionless in a pool of their own blood. He ran, he ran farther and faster than he had ever run before. It wasn't long before he saw a crowd. A crowd of what we now know to be zombies, surrounding a bus full of young children. They were clawing at the door as the children within desperately tried to hold it closed.
And he did what any man with nothing to lose would do, he ran right into the center of the crowd. He ran through all of the clawing and biting undead until he reached the back hatch of the bus, and quickly pried it open. He slammed the door shut behind him, running to the front of the bus. The driver was nowhere to be seen, so he started the bus, and drove. He could hear the crunching as he drove over the bodies of the undead, and it sickened him, but he drove on, getting them all to safety.
For the sake of these children he did not know, he risked, and effectively, ended his own life. He was infected in his mad dash to the bus, and when the children were safe, he left, never to be seen alive again.
Warms your heart, huh?
John Mahan was a simple man. He had a good job, two young boys and a beautiful wife. But his life was turned upside down by the outbreak. John didn't believe the wild stories from the news, thinking it was just embellishment to up the ratings, but soon, he began to see the truth. People began to die, only to reappear a few days later, shuffling around town. By the time he realized the truth, it was too late.
He arrived home from work one day in a blind panic. He had just witnessed one of his coworkers attack another person, biting and clawing like a wild animal. When he opened his door, he stopped. Nothing in his life could prepare him for what he was about to see, for there is no sight on this planet more horrible. His youngest son, was sitting on the floor, covered in gore. His mother and older brother lay next to him, dead. Bites were taken from their necks, the arms and their legs, they lay motionless in a pool of their own blood. He ran, he ran farther and faster than he had ever run before. It wasn't long before he saw a crowd. A crowd of what we now know to be zombies, surrounding a bus full of young children. They were clawing at the door as the children within desperately tried to hold it closed.
And he did what any man with nothing to lose would do, he ran right into the center of the crowd. He ran through all of the clawing and biting undead until he reached the back hatch of the bus, and quickly pried it open. He slammed the door shut behind him, running to the front of the bus. The driver was nowhere to be seen, so he started the bus, and drove. He could hear the crunching as he drove over the bodies of the undead, and it sickened him, but he drove on, getting them all to safety.
For the sake of these children he did not know, he risked, and effectively, ended his own life. He was infected in his mad dash to the bus, and when the children were safe, he left, never to be seen alive again.
Warms your heart, huh?
Monday, March 12, 2012
Hazardous Waste
This blog will be about special zombies. I'm not talking about Spitters or Boomers, like in Left 4 Dead, I'm talking about zombies that will use deception to get you.
The first is a floater. It's just a bloated zombie, that is floating in the water. They will lie face down, giving the impression they are dead, and then BAM! You just got eated. So stab before you get too close, or shoot if you have lots of ammo.
The next is a runner. They are fresher zombies, and still retain most of their muscle mass, and are able to run, and climb in some cases. Shoot out their legs first, and then dispose of them.
Thats pretty much it, like I said, not gonna talk about video game zombies. Comment if you find others.
The first is a floater. It's just a bloated zombie, that is floating in the water. They will lie face down, giving the impression they are dead, and then BAM! You just got eated. So stab before you get too close, or shoot if you have lots of ammo.
The next is a runner. They are fresher zombies, and still retain most of their muscle mass, and are able to run, and climb in some cases. Shoot out their legs first, and then dispose of them.
Thats pretty much it, like I said, not gonna talk about video game zombies. Comment if you find others.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
For the Horde!
Today you will learn how to deal with a horde, or large group, of the walking dead. God forbid this ever happens to you but, better safe than sorry.
First, run. Do not, I repeat, do not stop and try to fight. You will die. You need to run to an easily defensible position, high off the ground. The top of a building would be good, but only if they can't follow you. If you have the time, or a grenade, destroy staircases to make it an easily defensible spot.
Next, get yourself a polearm. A long bladed or stabbing weapon, they're easy to make with a stick, some duct tape and a knife or other sharp object. Now start stabbing. Get them in the head, eyes are preferable for they are easier to penetrate. Do this long enough and you should be fine. Now, if there is no way to get the high ground you run, and you never stop running until they lose your trail, it's your only chance.
First, run. Do not, I repeat, do not stop and try to fight. You will die. You need to run to an easily defensible position, high off the ground. The top of a building would be good, but only if they can't follow you. If you have the time, or a grenade, destroy staircases to make it an easily defensible spot.
Next, get yourself a polearm. A long bladed or stabbing weapon, they're easy to make with a stick, some duct tape and a knife or other sharp object. Now start stabbing. Get them in the head, eyes are preferable for they are easier to penetrate. Do this long enough and you should be fine. Now, if there is no way to get the high ground you run, and you never stop running until they lose your trail, it's your only chance.
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